Cockblocked.

We’ve all been there. Of, if you’re into chicks, you call it pussyblocked.

It’s that moment when you’re steaming straight ahead to Funkytown and there’s a fatal error.

And you find yourself (insert appropriate genitals)-blocked.

Take for instance this moment in my life. I was out bar hopping with my favorite month-long fling from last year and we were having a grand time trading raunchy stories and sending inappropriate drunk texts to various friends (if you’re reading this and were a recipient, sorry/ not sorry/ you’re welcome). We started to end the night and found ourselves making out while leaning on my car wishing we had a more convenient hook-up location. He pulled back slightly and with a sly grin said that he worked around the corner and he has a dream of sex on the conference table.

I couldn’t say yes fast enough.

We hurried to his building, giggling like idiot teenagers the whole way. We stumbled up the dimly lit stairwell and into the open-space office design…only to find…his loser co-worker pulling an all-nighter.

Cockblock of all cockblocks.

With the open office design, there was nowhere to get any privacy, and the co-worker was looking pretty suspicious of my date’s fake rifling through papers and mumbling of “uh I forgot to grab…uh…something.”

We looked at each other and realized this would be the end of the evening.

On the way out, I heard my date mutter “well I’ve never liked that guy, so at least now I have an actual reason to hate that guy…so…bright side?”

Yes?

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DateLaughter

West coast gender queer pansexual sharing their dating stories to create community around this crazy thing that everyone looking for a relationship has to endure. So many bad moments occur...but they can so frequently be turned into your best (and funniest) stories. This is the platform of my dating trials and tribulations told from my sarcastic viewpoint. It will also include some stories and reflections on friends' experiences. No actual relationship stories will be in here and, though I will give some identifying details away, only those people will actually recognize them. If you recognize yourself...well...at least you were memorable? And please don't take it too hard--I'm sure you know this date didn't go well. And the name? DateLaughter? Yeah. Double meaning intended. Because you should laugh at the bad dates, and find someone who makes you laugh. Go find your date laughter and tell us all about it!

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