I SUCK at meeting families. And at getting along with families. I don’t get along with many girls, so sisters terrify me. And brothers have typically hit on me. I’m also not typically what parents want their kiddo dating.
As a result, I dread these meetings…and one time I decided that showing up tipsy would be the best way to handle it.
Spoilers, it was not the way to handle it.
This blog is about the early dates and all that, but this kinda fits because I met this person’s brother and (female) best friend (who is basically family to him) fairly early on. And let’s face it: I get to make the rules for this blog :).
So. Meeting this person’s family. We decided to make it low key and meet up at my favorite dive bar. I was coming from a Hawaiian themed party, so was already looking ridiculous in my sarong and tank top in the middle of the winter. And I was a little buzzed.
It started off ok enough, and we started going through pitchers of beer. I may have a tendency to get a tad loud when I drink…and lose what little filter I have. So by my big moment of the evening, I was not exactly in an endearing state. Also at one point in the evening, there was a dude who was being a bit annoying, so I deflected and embarrassed the shit out of him. Not that I think my night would have gone much smoother had I not done that…but it may have been slightly less mortifying.
At some point in the evening, I had to pee. I had never been to the restroom at this place before, and was told it was ‘around the corner.’ So I blindly went around the corner and right into the bathroom.
There was a long trough along the floor, which should have been my first clue…but alas it wasn’t. My first clue was when a guy, the guy I had made fun of earlier, looked down at me and we asked each other what we were both doing in there.
It was then I realized I was in the men’s room. Popping a squat. In a skirt.
I prayed to all the gods out there that no one would notice. But then karma bitch slapped me. The dude who I called out earlier for being an ass came out behind me, saw my group, and yelled “I just saw your girlfriend’s cooter!!”
Definitely not my finest moment.
The guy I was seeing received the recommendation of dumping me later that evening.
A recommendation that was pretty well deserved.
So, here’s some friendly advice: when you’re on a date, be sure to check the bathroom you’re going in. I may be gender fluid and be fine with using a men’s room for those moments when I’m in that energy…but I don’t recommend doing that when it’s a trough and you’re in a skirt.
(as a follow up, in case you care, he did not, in fact, end things. in that moment. they ended later, but for real reasons versus this particular evening’s reasons.)