SHIT, are some dates awkward.
But what about the dates that you didn’t know were going to be a date?
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, I’d consider yourself lucky. A few years ago, I moved to a new city and didn’t know a single soul. I found this online forum called “Meet Up,” and decided to give it a whirl. There was an event that piqued my interest—an 80s dance night at a local club. I was so in!! I figured I would meet some cool people, dance out my moving stresses, and see some more of the city.
I arrived and it was a total sausage fest. And not just a sausage fest, a sausage fest filled with some of the worst movers. Sigh. Typical.
I pounded the brew purchased by a desperate sausage, thanked him, and fled back to the dance floor. I found the two other decent dancers, and we hit the floor hard. (I actually wound up making out with one of them in a dark corner that night. Jamaicans are my weakness.) At the end of the night, after chatting with a few other people there, I was giving my number to a woman I met , and realized a few people were eavesdropping. Creepy. But…they wouldn’t actually call…right?
Both of us received calls from eavesdroppers wanting dates. And…we both said yes. Cause…why not?
Oh right. Because those guys got our numbers by eavesdropping.
The guy who contacted me said that a few people from the dance were meeting up for Mexican food in two days and I should totally come. I said yes (did I mention I was a bit desperate for new friends?).
I arrived at the restaurant and saw the guy sitting there waiting. For me. Only me. Because he was at a table for two.
Um…what the fuck?
I sat down and asked if we should have a bigger table and he turned a bit red and shifted around and said we would move if more people showed up. I clued right in to the word IF. I called him out on it and he just looked awkward.
The jackass really thought he could go on a date with someone who didn’t know it was a date. Unbelievable.
I know I’m not alone in these creepster stories. You just gotta put yourself out there for dating sometimes, and sometimes you show up to a hang out that’s really a date. You can bitch all you want, be horrified all you want, throw water in the jerk’s face all you want…but let’s be real. It’s a hilarious story.
And as pathetic as we feel when it happens, at least we weren’t the one desperate enough to trick someone into a date.